I'm Christiane [she/they] and I'm disabled, queer, and several flavors of neurospicy. I live right outside the city of Baltimore, MD, near the Chesapeake Bay. I'm an author and poet, concentrating on contemporary fantasy and speculative fiction that centers on stories about hope and community. That's my big WHY when it comes to everything in life: inspiring hope, building community.
I am traveling tonight under cover of darkness – I know that I am asleep, dreaming, yet I make no effort to wake.
I clutch a pouch in my hand. It is made out of black leather and it is filled with something heavy.
I step under a street lamp, and the city glitters around me like rhinestones and tinfoil. I empty the pouch’s contents onto the white marble steps at the last doorway before the street corner. A thousand crystals fall out, in every color imaginable; arcane jewels made tawdry by the artificial gleam of the metropolis.
I cannot stop myself from reaching down to pluck a clear, green stone from the pile, and I carefully place it in my mouth. Incredibly, I can feel the hard substance turn soft and melt away on my tongue.
And briefly, I am surrounded by verdant forest, breathing in the smell of damp earth and fresh leaves, before I jolt awake in my bed.
For more about my Oneiromantic series, start here: Oneiromantic
Oneiromancer: someone who reads dreams and divines from them
Oneiromantic: made up of two words – Oneiros, the god of dreams, and Romantic, one who readily demonstrates love, a person with romantic beliefs or attitudes. Romantic can also pertain to having no basis in fact, being imaginary, and that also seems appropriate.
Long ago, I started using Oneiromantic as an umbrella term to describe the short stories and poems that I was writing based on the dreams that I had. I even used my Oneiromantic works to create some of my lyrics in my work with The Violet Dawning. I planned on making a chapbook with all the collected works written under that concept, but it hasn’t come to fruition. So I decided to share some of those works here, over time, a small gift from my sleeping brain to you. Some of these have been posted, performed, or published other places, others have never been seen before now.
Some of these words follow a dream exactly, and you may find that the narrative is as disjointed as one might expect from a dream. Other pieces are more direct, as the subject might have been dream-inspired but the writing explores onward from that launching point.
Do not believe what they say, the tales are all exaggerated – there is magic to be found, sure… for the right price.
No one sleeps at night here. The dusty streets are filled with the wraith-like folk from dusk to dawn, and no one ventures forth into the sunlight. There are too many truths to hide.
We are desperate here. You can see the once-finery; splendid jewel toned stained glass now obscured by filth, awe-inspiring architecture eroded by the ill-educated hands of the rabble. Once fine storefronts are now boarded over, their wares abandoned for cheaper pleasures.
Receiving advice and criticism isn’t easy. I like to say you need a Teflon-coated ego if you’re going to put yourself out there in any creative field. And if you’re a sensitive soul [like me, I fully admit it] that can be difficult to achieve. How do you get there?
“Knowing Who You Are” is the key to everything: that’s how I interpret and take in the advice and criticisms given to me in a way that doesn’t break me, and that allows me to actually glean the important, useful parts.
Being able to gracefully take advice and criticism is one of the most important skills that any creative person can possess. As someone who finds herself in creative roles that have thrust me into the public eye over and over, being able to roll with the punches when it comes to how people receive my work has always been a battle, but one worth waging. You just can’t get up in front of people, on *any* platform, and put yourself out there without expecting razzes with the praise. It’s what some people just do. In fact, I recommend preparing yourself for the possibility that the jeers will outweigh the good words! I firmly believe in the idea that it’s easier to be prepared for disappointment with the hope to be pleasantly surprised, than the opposite. Not everyone is going to like or appreciate your work. That doesn’t mean your work is bad!
The trick is to be able to separate valid criticisms from a general “this is not my jam” reaction. Same goes for advice, especially advice that goes against your instincts or raises a pushback reaction. That’s when it’s important to sit with those words for a while, and really take some time to reflect on why they are triggering that response in you.
I’m going to use myself as an example here, because that’s how I roll, and I have no problem sharing my vulnerability and ego weak points. [please do laugh here!]
I threw a piece of writing out there recently to get some editing advice. I read the suggestions returned to me and my heart sank. The editor I was most interested in took my writing and ripped it apart.
Except… they really didn’t. They ripped into it, sure – but not to destroy it, rather in order to point out all the places where mercilessly editing it would tighten it up and make it a better read overall. Was it brutal? Sure, to my ego, for about five minutes. Then I got over myself and paid attention to what was being suggested. Some things I didn’t agree with, but I earmarked them to revisit in a bit while they tumbled around in my head. Other things were “duh” revelations, like a continuity problem here or there, or an overlooked grammar mistake.
After I sat awhile with those suggestions that I didn’t agree with, I went back and re-read with the edits in mind, and with a sincere effort to read the story like it hadn’t been living in my head for a while. Did I end up using all the suggestions? No, I did not – but I did use some of them, and the whole experience caused me to go back and look over the rest of my story again with fresh eyes, and make changes in other places. I came away feeling that my writing was improved, but still felt like mine. It’s still not perfect, and I don’t think I’ll ever be the writer who is 100% satisfied with her work, but that gives me glorious room for improvement, yes?
That’s what I mean when I say “know who you are.” I know what I want in my work. I am pretty confident in knowing my strengths and weaknesses – and I’m also aware that I have both of those that I might not see because I’m too close to the material. That doesn’t make me a bad writer [musician, artist, whatever] – it makes me a human one. I know who I am, what I want out of my work, and what I’m capable of; knowing that gives me the space to allow others to offer words that can help me improve. And knowing who I am also gives me the strength to reject or ignore the criticisms that aren’t designed to be helpful.
Does it always work? Hell no! But keeping grounded in that knowledge can help me weather the worst and keep growing. And that helps me to improve my craft, as well. Win-win.
Next in my “What’s In A Name” series [WIAN for short, please], I want to talk about how I choose character names, including some of the meanings behind them.
Of all the parts of writing a story that I find the most fun, yet the most challenging, it is finding the right names for my characters. The right names can tether your characters to the qualities you’ve given them. A bad name choice can knock readers out of a story.
Speaking for my own preferences, I’ve encountered character names that have made me put back a book, because they are cliché, unbelievable, or just awkward – and not awkward in a way that fits the character’s narrative. Obviously, this is my personal preference, and not necessarily global opinion; but I figure that if I’m noticing/feeling it, I am probably not the only one!
That being said, choosing a character name can be a complicated process. I have a couple of methods that I use:
Intuition. Sometimes, characters “tell” me their names! I might have an idea of who they are and what they are about, and while I’m sketching that out, a name will just appear. Instances of this are rare, but in my upcoming book In Sleep You Know I have at least two major characters where this happened: Lucee Fearney and Joseph Sousa.
Serendipity. I collect names for future characters and keep those names in a list. One might pop out in a scan as the perfect name for a character I’m envisioning. Or I might be doing research on names for one character, when a name for a completely different character introduces itself. Examples: Merrick Moore, Camlin of The Grimshaw.
Research. As I mentioned above, I do a lot of research when it comes to names. For my Eleriannan books, I want characters with meaningful names, so I took a list of attributes and did an online search for names that reflected those attributes. I also do things like check name origins, so that those names make sense for the characters that will carry them.
I’m going to take a moment to expand here about name meanings. I like names with hidden clues about characters and places. If you want a fun exercise, you can go through all the ones I use and get insight about personalities or potentials.
Examples:
Cullen – handsome
Merrick – fame, leader
Fallon – superiority, descended from rulers
Sheridan – untamed, wild, to seek
… By the way, this carries over into the faction names – the Eleriannan and Gwyliannan, for example, found their names from the Welsh concept of the ellyllon and gwyllion, benevolent elves and “frightful fairies” – I developed the name changes to hint at that reference, while keeping their own unique feeling. I’ll admit that they’re a touch easier to pronounce, as well. Go ahead and drop “Gwyliannan” into the Google translate for Welsh and see what you get!
Hopefully this gives you some background as to how I work with names and use them to build layers in my stories. I’d love to hear from you about this! If you are a writer, how do you choose your names? If you are a reader, what are your favorite character names, and why?
I’ve always written what I consider Urban Fantasy – even before the term became commonplace. It makes sense to me to set my stories in the neighborhoods that I know, because I’ve seen plenty of magic there. And if I know anything, it’s that magic is adaptable! Wikipedia says of Urban Fantasy:
Works of urban fantasy may be set in an approximation of our world in which fantastic exists secretly or in a world (such as an alternative history) in which it occurs openly (or some combination of the above). Elements such as magic, paranormal beings, other worlds and so on, may exist here. Common themes include coexistence or conflict between humans and other beings, and the changes such characters and events bring to local life are the mainspring. Many authors, publishers, and readers distinguish them from works of paranormal romance, which use similar characters and settings, but focus on the romantic relationships between characters.
I also might use the term “Low Fantasy” – where magical events “intrude” into the normal world. [Urban Fantasy can be considered a type of Low Fantasy.] I probably wouldn’t, but it’s a term that’s available!
I look for the liminal spaces.
Looking over where the Fantasy genre has changed and morphed, I think I’d be comfortable explaining that my work is more like a classic Urban Fantasy than a lot of the modern types available. My works are about magic and mythos, but also about community and growth – and always some music and subculture, because that’s the heartbeat, the driving force.
As with any label, it’s only as effective as the understanding of what it represents. I want to be clear what I write about, so readers understand what sort of journey they’re signing up for before we depart. Of course, any trip can have unexpected twists and turns – that’s what I’m counting on.
In coming posts in this series, I’ll talk more about names and why & how I choose them. It is a very thoughtful exercise on my part! Look for posts tagged #whatsinaname for more entries with this theme.
Every season is a chance for renewal. Every day is a gift of redemption. Every moment is a secret salvation. I may dance alone, but I am surrounded by stars.
Give me a minute of wild abandon, more precious than gold… I treasure the random moments, the secret glimpses and stolen seconds in that world that hides between the bricks and mortar of what we accept as solid and real.
I reject your morality, your mortality, every minute of mundane and disappointingly binding concepts that you think you cannot live without.
If only you would close your eyes for five minutes, spin around three times – this would melt away and reveal what you knew as a child… it is all a game. It is fake, and we all agreed to make it our lives – instead of what we really want to do – because we secretly think we don’t deserve better. Because we think we don’t have power. Because we have forgotten how to dream bigger.
Your dreams can become reality, but first you must dare to believe in them – and in yourself. [C. Knight, 2014]
Yule is a time of hope – seeing the light appear after the longest night of the year. Yule is when we begin to plan for rebirth, to take stock of what we accomplished in the year-passing-away and dream of the seeds we will plant in the Spring. Take time to snuggle in and recharge, to go to ground for a while and plan of what is to come.
You may have wandered here because you know me, or perhaps you’ve come across some of the work I’ve been involved with, and you found me that way – either way, hello!
Over the years, I’ve collected my various words, photos, and music in a variety of places, but I realized that I wanted a Central Headquarters for all my projects; this website is now Xiane Central. Expect a mix of older and new work, plus recommendations for the work of others that I’ve enjoyed. You might get to see behind the curtain a bit, too, because I believe that understanding what makes an artist tick is important insight into their work.
Currently, I have intentions to share:
work from .:boneyard:. ‘zine
music from The Violet Dawning
my previously published and unpublished poetry and short stories
my photography
outtakes, excerpts, and addendums from my current writing project
new music, hopefully soon
So… keep tuned. I look forward to sharing more soon!
