I’m writing this hours after the Winter Solstice, cozy under blankets on the couch, the room lit by warm holiday lights. As always on this day I’m thinking about what it means to know that daylight will last a little longer every day until Summer Solstice, but the weather will get colder before the change in light seems to make a difference. I consider what seeds I’ll plant–botanical and metaphorical–and which will grow and thrive.
Not all seeds make it. Not all plans succeed.
“The grey of winter falls on us – How will our garden grow ? Will all the seeds we’ve sown Survive beneath the snow ?” – All About Eve, Wildflowers
I used to sing an a capella version of this song to close out The Violet Dawning sets. I think it sums up my feelings about this season well, despite being about a relationship. The uncertainty, the knowledge that growth or retreat can change everything and that’s natural but painful…but eventually there will be flowers. The sun will return, and even if everything’s different, change can bring beauty.
So what seeds am I considering?
I think it’s important to bring up my Word of the Year in this discussion because it expresses well what I’m looking to embrace in 2026 and beyond, if possible.
I chose EMBODIED as my Word of the Year. If you’re on my mailing list, you’ve read about this, but I’ll share it here too, both as a public record of my choice and an explanation.
What do I mean when I say “embodied?” There are a couple of ways to look at it, and I embrace them all. From the concept of embodied cognition:
“By using the term embodied we mean to highlight two points: first that cognition depends upon the kinds of experience that come from having a body with various sensorimotor capacities, and second, that these individual sensorimotor capacities are themselves embedded in a more encompassing biological, psychological and cultural context.” — The Embodied Mind: Cognitive Science and Human Experience by Francisco J. Varela, Evan Thompson, and Eleanor Rosch, pages 172–173.
[Check out the Wikipedia article on this for a good overview.]
Embodied can also be defined as being the representative of a quality, or an idea. A good example would be referring to a dancer as the embodiment of grace. Or: to give body to a spirit, incarnate.
I want to be more present in my body, and experience more of the world through my body. Being ill has kept me away from being one with my senses like that as much as I’d like and my goal in 2026 is to change that, to the best of my ability. I also want to be even more in tune and aligned with my ethics and goals, in every way possible. I think I do a fairly good job of that but I know there’s always room to improve. And—I think the third meaning supports the first. I want to be a better home to my own spirit. I spend a lot of time feeling like a brain in a jar and I need to find a way to incorporate and incarnate my mind into my body so once again we are one.
I think some people with chronic illnesses might relate to this goal in some way or another.
What I want is to be more present, grounded, and ALIVE.
My plan is to be more intentional in what choices I make as far as going out, expending energy, choosing projects. I want to have more nature walks and visiting places that give me joy, because a lot of my life currently is spent in places not of my choosing. My living room is quite pleasant but I don’t want it to be my entire world. I need to visit doctors but it would be great to balance that with indie bookstores and farmers markets.
And I miss some of the creative pursuits that I used to enjoy, too. Spinning yarn, weaving, photography–those have all taken a back seat to just surviving, and using what energy’s left to write. I love writing with all my heart but I need other experiences in order to keep that writing fresh and lively.
Taking stock is important.
I don’t do resolutions. I don’t like the baggage around that word and concept. What I do enjoy is looking over my past year and taking stock of what successes I had and unfulfilled wishes I can move to next year or release. I’ll post that once I’ve compiled it, don’t worry. I think part of the process is showing that even in slower years, a lot happened!
In the span between now and the end of the year falls Christmas, my birthday, and New Years Eve. That’s a lot of time to review and assess. Look for another post talking about my numbers, conclusions, and what to look for in 2026 from me. Until then I hope that whatever you celebrate that it’s a lovely and restful and comforting time.
Goodbye to 2024, a year that brought me growth and opportunity, a third novel published and new opportunities to do readings, share thoughts, and learn from others. It wasn’t the easiest year and there were certainly disappointments, but I’m not going to rehash those. There’s going to be plenty of time to deal with challenges, so I’m staying focused on the things I can control and will enjoy.
My Word for 2025
As you might know if you’ve been following me for any amount of time, I always choose a word that encompasses what I’m focusing on or seeking to bring into my life. This word will guide me and remind me of my goals for the year. And this year I chose EMERGENCE as my word.
Emergence: the process of coming into being, or becoming important or prominent.
It can also mean the process of coming into view after being concealed, something that I’ve become well-versed in after my time in enforced confinement thanks to illness. Now I’m ready to bloom, to show what I’ve got to the world, and to share that light with you.
I have a special announcement that will be coming very soon in 2025, and EMERGENCE is the keyword you should remember!
I’ll talk more about it here on the blog, as well as over on my Ko-fi, so if you’re not subscribed to my updates you might want to do that!
Until then, let me wish you a happy new year; may 2025 be kind to us all.
First and foremost, Happy New Year to you, my readers and supporters – without you, I’d just be yelling into the void and listening to these voices in my head instead of writing their stories down to share! You are the reason for everything and I hope your year to come is filled with everything good and fulfilling. 💜
Even before this time of the year – the annual musing on endings/beginnings days – got here, I’ve been thinking about what I want to change about how I’m living. It’s reflected in my Word of the Year, which is Embrace. I’ve been living a life with many restrictions since before the pandemic started, when I had my first emergency surgery and subsequently had my diagnosis of Crohn’s Disease. Basically, I was out of commission from the end of August 2019, then when started to get healed to the point where I was able to live a life again, everything went into lockdown. Surprise! Then my health began to spiral downwards again, so I wasn’t interested in doing much anyway.
Ironically, during this time I did write and publish two books, the first ones in the Eleriannan series. So despite being restricted, I continued to create and grow. However, 2022 has been the most challenging for me since the end of 2019. I was sick and miserable, unable to do much or feel safe in leaving the house for anything but short errands. In fact, the last time I did anything fun or challenging was when I was a vendor at the Baltimore Faerie Faire back in April. That was a blast, and I’m so glad I did it, because not long after my body went into a Crohn’s flare and there I stayed until my eventual surgery in September. Then there was the second surgery in November, and a recovery that’s felt like an uphill climb.
Finally, finally, I feel like myself again. Well, mostly? It’ll take time to regain stamina and strength, but I’m feeling re-energized and more alive than I have in ages. That bodes well for you as a reader, because I’m back to writing daily, making steady progress on Stories of the Eleriannan #3, which I’ll be talking about more in coming days! My writing schedule has been kinder and more in sync with my current abilities and energy levels.
I’m following your lead, Yoongi.
Back in August, I wrote a list of Reach For the Sky Big Achievements that I want to happen in my writing career. These are goals that the parts of my mind that are rational and nay-saying look at and just bust a gut laughing at my audacity. But you know what? I’m a huge believer that if you don’t put it out there, it won’t happen. I think I’ve written about these goals somewhere in public before, but again, it hurts nothing to put them out there again. I mean, I’m sure some people will read this and also laugh at my audacity. It’s cool, go ahead! It is audacious, and that’s the point. If you don’t dream about a seemingly unreachable future, how can you even get halfway there?
So in no particular order, here is my List of Future Achievements:
published short stories that I’m paid for
several bestsellers [by some unidentified metric]
to be a panelist at cons [ult goals are Balticon, Nebula Conference, World Fantasy Con, Worldcon]
to be a Guest of Honor at any of the above
to win a Nebula and/or Hugo
to run a writer’s class and be paid fairly for it
to get 50+ positive ratings on each of my books
to have created a body of work
Reminder: I said these were reach for the sky. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t out of reach. The important thing, in my opinion, is to create goals that are HUGE and RIDICULOUS. Aim for things that seem impossible, then structure your plans so that every step in that direction brings growth. Even if you never make the big goals, you’ll have an amazing outcome.
And let me say this, because it’s important: this is what works for me. You don’t have to have goals like these, or goals at all! I am a very goal-driven person and I use manifestation energy to great success, but I know not everyone works like that. For every method there’s a bunch of people who do it differently, and it’s important to use what works for you.
So how do I plan to work toward these goals? I’ll be sharing my steps with lots of personal detail and insight over on my Ko-fi, in the Writer’s Life and Craft tier. Successes and failures included! I hope you’ll join me over there. Even the free tier often gets updates that I don’t post over here!
Do you have any “Impossible” goals? I’d love it if you’d share in the comments!
