I’m writing this hours after the Winter Solstice, cozy under blankets on the couch, the room lit by warm holiday lights. As always on this day I’m thinking about what it means to know that daylight will last a little longer every day until Summer Solstice, but the weather will get colder before the change in light seems to make a difference. I consider what seeds I’ll plant–botanical and metaphorical–and which will grow and thrive.
Not all seeds make it. Not all plans succeed.
“The grey of winter falls on us – How will our garden grow ? Will all the seeds we’ve sown Survive beneath the snow ?” – All About Eve, Wildflowers
I used to sing an a capella version of this song to close out The Violet Dawning sets. I think it sums up my feelings about this season well, despite being about a relationship. The uncertainty, the knowledge that growth or retreat can change everything and that’s natural but painful…but eventually there will be flowers. The sun will return, and even if everything’s different, change can bring beauty.
So what seeds am I considering?
I think it’s important to bring up my Word of the Year in this discussion because it expresses well what I’m looking to embrace in 2026 and beyond, if possible.
I chose EMBODIED as my Word of the Year. If you’re on my mailing list, you’ve read about this, but I’ll share it here too, both as a public record of my choice and an explanation.
What do I mean when I say “embodied?” There are a couple of ways to look at it, and I embrace them all. From the concept of embodied cognition:
“By using the term embodied we mean to highlight two points: first that cognition depends upon the kinds of experience that come from having a body with various sensorimotor capacities, and second, that these individual sensorimotor capacities are themselves embedded in a more encompassing biological, psychological and cultural context.” — The Embodied Mind: Cognitive Science and Human Experience by Francisco J. Varela, Evan Thompson, and Eleanor Rosch, pages 172–173.
[Check out the Wikipedia article on this for a good overview.]
Embodied can also be defined as being the representative of a quality, or an idea. A good example would be referring to a dancer as the embodiment of grace. Or: to give body to a spirit, incarnate.
I want to be more present in my body, and experience more of the world through my body. Being ill has kept me away from being one with my senses like that as much as I’d like and my goal in 2026 is to change that, to the best of my ability. I also want to be even more in tune and aligned with my ethics and goals, in every way possible. I think I do a fairly good job of that but I know there’s always room to improve. And—I think the third meaning supports the first. I want to be a better home to my own spirit. I spend a lot of time feeling like a brain in a jar and I need to find a way to incorporate and incarnate my mind into my body so once again we are one.
I think some people with chronic illnesses might relate to this goal in some way or another.
What I want is to be more present, grounded, and ALIVE.
My plan is to be more intentional in what choices I make as far as going out, expending energy, choosing projects. I want to have more nature walks and visiting places that give me joy, because a lot of my life currently is spent in places not of my choosing. My living room is quite pleasant but I don’t want it to be my entire world. I need to visit doctors but it would be great to balance that with indie bookstores and farmers markets.
And I miss some of the creative pursuits that I used to enjoy, too. Spinning yarn, weaving, photography–those have all taken a back seat to just surviving, and using what energy’s left to write. I love writing with all my heart but I need other experiences in order to keep that writing fresh and lively.
Taking stock is important.
I don’t do resolutions. I don’t like the baggage around that word and concept. What I do enjoy is looking over my past year and taking stock of what successes I had and unfulfilled wishes I can move to next year or release. I’ll post that once I’ve compiled it, don’t worry. I think part of the process is showing that even in slower years, a lot happened!
In the span between now and the end of the year falls Christmas, my birthday, and New Years Eve. That’s a lot of time to review and assess. Look for another post talking about my numbers, conclusions, and what to look for in 2026 from me. Until then I hope that whatever you celebrate that it’s a lovely and restful and comforting time.
I track things. It’s something that helps keep me moored and on the path I want to pursue, and also it ticks that little reward-driven box for me – I like that feeling of satisfaction that a checkmark gives me.
I also like following my growth and seeing where I’m letting things slip past me, or where I’m losing interest in something. So here’s some stats and some things I did that I’m proud of or wish could be a little more impressive… but in general, I’m happy with my numbers. Yay! If you did more of any of these than me, congratulations! If you did less, then I hope you don’t get comparison envy, because any success is worth cheering.
Writing-related
Books published: one
Poems included in anthologies: three
Books sold: 63 87 [not all numbers in yet]
Panels I participated in: 10
Readings I did: 4
Conventions I participated in: 3
Events I participated in: 5
Newsletters I sent: 13 but some of these were intro emails or repeats
Awards I was nominated for: 10, across all three books, all in the Indie Ink Awards. Yay!
Interviews given: 1
You may notice that these numbers aren’t huge. That is FINE, y’all. I’m in my fourth year of being a chronically ill, self-published, fully independent author. I don’t have a ton of money to put into advertising, so for the most part, I don’t. What you see here is completely organic growth as I learn the ropes of what to do for my writing career.
In the Penguin Random House/Simon & Schuster antitrust trial, they revealed that out of 58,000 trade titles published per year, half of those titles sell less than one dozen books (yes, 12 books). 98% of the books that publishers released in 2020 (a very big year for books) sold fewer than 5,000 copies – about 90% sold less than 2,000. And, a study in 2006 found that 950,000 titles out of the 1.2 million tracked by Nielsen Bookscan sold fewer than 99 copies.”
I write and sell books. I participate in events. I’m building a readership, a body of knowledge alongside my works, and a community. I’m building a name for myself in the most organic and authentic way possible. I can trace my growth over the past four years and it’s fantastic. Slow growth is much more sustainable and realistic and I get to keep the joy of doing this work. If you’re a new or aspiring writer, I share these stats so that you can get a true glimpse behind the curtain.
What I achieve is my journey. Yours may look very different!
Reading
Books read: 17, according to Goodreads, but my library says 5 more than that. I also read a LOT of online material
DNF: 4, all non-fiction
Genres: fantasy, science fiction, fantasy/romance, romance [this is new for me!], self-help, reference
I’m still learning Korean! I’ve mostly been working on getting comfortable with reading it on the fly, even though I don’t know what most of the words mean. Getting the pronunciation right is challenging because of how consonants work in the language, but every time I get it right I feel like I’ve won. I like to watch videos of people filming walking around various areas of Seoul while I absorb the atmosphere and try to read signage as we pass by. You’d be surprised how much you learn that way!
My orchid rebloomed. I have never managed to get an orchid to rebloom! This one was a surprise gift from Christopher, and it arrived in gorgeous bloom. I was delighted and added it to my collection of indoor plants happily, but I fully expected that I’d be tending it for the green leaves alone after those blossoms fell. It surprised me with holiday flowers.
I’m drinking more tea. Fancier tea, that is. My pal Velma and I have both been exploring the world of tea this past year, with Velma taking a much deeper dive than I have so far. That works well for me, because she suggests the ones she’s liked the most, and our tastes align. And we trade care packages full of tea samples. It’s been a delight!
I shut down 24-7 streaming at Radio Xiane and that was good, but I’m ready to bring back playlists/shows. This was HUGE for me; I have a difficult time saying NO and letting things go that I’ve loved but no longer serve me. In this case, I was spending money on the streaming host and not seeing a lot of return [in other words, not many listeners or support] – so I made the difficult decision to let the streaming service go. But I really enjoy putting together mixes and introducing new music to people, so after sitting with the idea of quitting completely, I felt like making mixes on MY schedule, when I feel like it, was something that could bring me joy again. So here we are, in 2025, and I’m planning to start a practice of random show releases. Radio Xiane lives!
In alignment with my values, I’m moving as many things as I can to smaller, indie or indie supporting platforms in 2025. Instead of Goodreads, I’ve started updating at The Storygraph. [follow me there! my books are there too!] I use Ko-fi instead of other platforms that have some sketchy history. This year everything is queerer and artsier and indie and filled with communities I feel good supporting.
I took time to rest, and not push myself. This is HARD for me, y’all. I am a go-go-go kind of person, and all the enforced downtime I had after the Big Bust really rankled. I credit that time for opening my eyes to the idea that I could write and publish my own books, though… which of course I could, but I was literally so busy all the time that I never took a moment for really reassessing what I wanted from life until I was forced to change.
Now that I’ve had a taste of what that’s like, I’ve learned to incorporate it into my life. I need to rest. [So do you.] I need time to reassess and recuperate and recover, and if I don’t take it my body will make me take it. I have a hard head, so it took my body breaking down to make this lesson stick. But it did!
What about you? What are your numbers, your successes, your reasons to cheer? I want to know! May 2025 be kind to us all. Life has been challenging and we need each other more than ever. Know that you can always come here for support in your creative endeavors. I’m cheering you on!
Forgive me, friends in the Southern hemisphere. enjoy your longest day while we shiver over here! 💙
It’s the longest night, the shortest day, and now is the time to go to ground, huddle in blankets, tend the fires and look to the stars. This is when I think about what’s to come, a seed sleeping in the dark dreaming of the time when I’ll sprout, then burst forth, ready to reach for the sun.
This is when I reassess who I’ve been and want to become, and make plans for the future. I don’t do “resolutions” but I feel that mapping out the solid, informed steps to the things I’d like to have happen in my life is a smart way to make sure I don’t drift aimlessly through the year to come.
Plus, it’s fun! I love the feeling of possibility.
I mentioned this over at my Ko-fi, but I use a printable planner that I put together a while back in order to get a handle on my planning and to enact it throughout the year, The Magickal Life Planner. I used to sell it but after printable planners fell out of fashion over digital ones, I backburnered it. I prefer paper, though, so I still use it and find it extremely helpful!
So I’ll be putting mine together for the New Year and I decided I’d invite some folks along to do it and share our insights if we want. You can join me live in Zoom to do yours, or watch me fill mine out then do yours later. I’ll provide the link for downloading the Planner plus a few extras for you that I’ll talk about in our chat as well, when you register.
You are invited to a Zoom meeting. When: Dec 30, 2024 02:00 PM Eastern Time (US and Canada)
After registering, you will receive a confirmation email containing information about joining the meeting. If you don’t receive a second email from me [Christiane] shortly after with your downloadable planner, let me know and I’ll get it to you!
Are you ready to fight, Turn the wrong back to right?
Things are ready to get much more unpleasant here in the US, come January. That will shape much of my planning for 2025, and likely your planning as well. Having a solid, thoughtful, and most importantly flexible roadmap laid out will help a lot; it’s a useful distraction, a way to stay focused on the things we [mostly] can control. It’s empowering in a time that will be ruled by people who want to take away our power. It’s not at all revolutionary to plan for the future…or is it?
Planning is making a powerful statement of confidence. We are here. We’re not going anywhere, dammit. We are actively fighting for a beautiful future.
It’s exhausting to think of the fighting we may have to do in the future, even before that fight has started. In part that’s because we’ve already been fighting. Rising fascism, the strengthening of patriarchy and the rolling back of protections and advancements for those who need them and deserve them the most, late stage capitalism, the efforts by the rich to crush the general population firmly back into the role of serfs. Those things have always been there but they have begun to gain even more power, and it’s not hard to see the direction that not just the US but the world is tilting toward.
We need to stand together even more than ever. We need to use what privileges we’re lucky enough to still possess to protect those of us with less than ourselves. As Vali would say: we’re stronger together. My planning will include more mutual support, more donations of whatever I have to give, more kindness and righteous anger when needed and even more speaking out and standing beside those who need my strength. I’m older, I’m chronically ill, I’m poor. Still, I’ll do these things to the best of my ability because that’s what my personal moral code demands.
The ideas in my stories come directly from my own beliefs and morals. I write what I want to see in the world. I want equity and compassion and community, so that’s what I talk about and what my characters represent and defend. It’s that simple.
It’s going to be hard, friends, but we’ll get through this if we take care of each other. We’re all we have right now.
I’m grateful for you.
My supporters are the best! If you’d like to read my thoughts about the craft and business of writing before anyone else, or just throw me a couple of bucks for some tea, you can do that here: https://ko-fi.com/threeravenspress
